When baking gods, cookies and my credit card collide.

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Talking about cookies (because who doesn’t love to continue that conversation)…

If you haven’t tried Moustache Milk & Cookie bar, in Auckland, you’re missing out. Seriously missing out. In fact, you should probably stop sitting on your butts reading this post and hop to it asap.

Tucked away, up Wellesley Street, behind this big little cities ornate theatre (The Civic), sits a minuscule joint that boasts the best cookies I’ve ever tasted (and I’ve tasted a fair few).

No, they aren’t paleo, sugar free or even remotely healthy, but they are my number one stop when it’s time for a cheat meal (oh, I do love that time).

Along with the good old staples (black forest, choc chunk, cinnamon, nutella, snickers, oreo marshmallow, peanut butter and white choc macadamia) this quaint café experiments with a cookie of the week. Each Monday they bring out their latest mad invention of sweet and sticky awesomeness, and its up for grabs till end of day Sunday. The weekly special is always incredible (and fun), from reinventing your favourite burger into biscuit form, to tantalizing your taste buds with cake flavoured cookies (carrot cake has been the ultimate flavour so far, complete with cream cheese icing) to jumping on baking bandwagons…Cookie cake pop, cookie macaron for anyone? Hell yes.

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This quirky bar will also serve your choice of flavoured milk (or plain, if that’s your bag) in super cute jars along side your cookie choice for a nostalgic dunking experience. And, if you’re lucky, you might get a hot, melt in your mouth, cookie, straight off the baking tray. Not big on warm baking (freak)? How about you make an ice cream sandwich out of your fave flavours? Because they do that too!

Told you this place was the best.

These ingenious baking gods (yes, I said it, gods) have also just launched an online store for you to get that craving sorted and delivered right to your door!

There is even a giant cookie meets birthday cake option on the menu.

… now where did I put that credit card.

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It’s a wrap on the sugar free!

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Today I am finished my sugar free detox. I have gone 6 entire weeks without sugar (apart from those two licks of icing that we are not talking about). That is forty-two days fructose free. And I’m going to own it, I’m bloody proud. I am proud of myself, my friend who joined me, and the boy. Whether you agree with why we choose to do it, or that we choose to, surely everyone can recognize that putting your mind to something and diligently sticking to for forty two days straight is worth a damn pat on the back. So, what do I think now? Honestly, I kind of hate to say it, but I am still not sure my sugar habit is completely kicked.

I’ve definitely noticed a drastic reduction in my cravings. BUT they are still there. In the last two weeks of the detox Sarah recommends slowly introducing sweet tastes in small amount of fruit and some (Sarah approved) sweeteners. I tested some cookie recipes, started having raspberries for dessert, trialled a variety of sugar free chocolate, and I loved it. All of it. A bit too much. I had to remind myself (on many occasions) that just because I’d been given the all clear on fruit did not mean I could IV drip pureed apples into my veins.

I kind of want to keep it up. (The sugar free that is, not the trialling sugar alternatives, I have felt a little like a lab rat these last two weeks. A lab rat in stevia heaven.) I want to keep traveling this path to see if I really can get to the point of sugar just not occurring to me. I don’t feel a huge urge to go out and stuff my gob with Jelly Beans (except maybe a little), but at the same time, I’m not at the place I hoped to be.

I (sort of) feel like a recovering sugar-holic. And I fear that by having a square of chocolate I will black out and wake up naked in sweet shop with gummy bears stuck in my hair. I am pretty sure there are meetings for that right?

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So, this six-week detox doesn’t really feel like it’s come to and end. It feels like I have started a journey, a journey that, for the last six weeks, someone (Sarah Wilson) has been holding my hand through. Sarah has told me what to eat and what not to eat, and now I have to step out there and make my own decisions like a big grown up girl (and no, even at twenty five I’m still unconvinced that I’m even close to this elusive thing called adulthood). Do I want to go back to the way I was? Hell no. Is a life completely stripped of sugar in my future? Maybe.

I think for now, I’m going to keep steering clear of unnecessary sugars (I will just eat the ones that are completely and utterly enjoyed and acknowledged). No I won’t use store bought stock to make my gravy – because it adds sugar. No I won’t grab Thai takeouts on a Friday night – because I know the stuff is drenched in palm sugar. And no I won’t stop meticulously reading labels at the supermarket – because it’s ridiculous (and a little stupid, sorry folks) to not be conscious of what you are shoveling into your body. But at my besties wedding in three weeks (woop woop), will I have a slice of wedding cake? Hell yes (try ad hold me back).  Those seem like good and achievable goals that don’t sound too scary long term.

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This last six weeks has been interesting, and not as tough as I thought. I’m not sure what the next steps in my sugar free journey will be, but my next actual steps are to the counter at local fave Little Bird for a hearty slab of cheesecake.

Cheers everyone!

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Bathing in sugarless pain.

Today is the first time I’ve really felt like I’m missing out with this sugar quitting thing. Cronuts showed up at work and I couldn’t have them. They are (for those of you who’ve been living under a rock) a combination of a croissant and a donut. So basically, pastry heaven. Not only do I love both of these things, I’m also a sucker for crazy food fads and I entirely support creativity (and madness) in the kitchen.

It sounds melodramatic (probably because it is) but I was completely gutted. Simply miserable that I couldn’t tuck in, like everyone else around me. I know I am lucky that this is this first time I’ve seriously come across sugar envy/cravings. But right now I don’t feel lucky. I feel grumpy. I feel like throwing my toys, having a tantrum, shouting (loudly), stomping my feet and I seriously feel like eating sugar.

But I won’t. Instead I will just look and it and feel sorry for myself, bathing in my stupid, self inflicted sugarless pain.

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