Today I am finished my sugar free detox. I have gone 6 entire weeks without sugar (apart from those two licks of icing that we are not talking about). That is forty-two days fructose free. And I’m going to own it, I’m bloody proud. I am proud of myself, my friend who joined me, and the boy. Whether you agree with why we choose to do it, or that we choose to, surely everyone can recognize that putting your mind to something and diligently sticking to for forty two days straight is worth a damn pat on the back. So, what do I think now? Honestly, I kind of hate to say it, but I am still not sure my sugar habit is completely kicked.
I’ve definitely noticed a drastic reduction in my cravings. BUT they are still there. In the last two weeks of the detox Sarah recommends slowly introducing sweet tastes in small amount of fruit and some (Sarah approved) sweeteners. I tested some cookie recipes, started having raspberries for dessert, trialled a variety of sugar free chocolate, and I loved it. All of it. A bit too much. I had to remind myself (on many occasions) that just because I’d been given the all clear on fruit did not mean I could IV drip pureed apples into my veins.
I kind of want to keep it up. (The sugar free that is, not the trialling sugar alternatives, I have felt a little like a lab rat these last two weeks. A lab rat in stevia heaven.) I want to keep traveling this path to see if I really can get to the point of sugar just not occurring to me. I don’t feel a huge urge to go out and stuff my gob with Jelly Beans (except maybe a little), but at the same time, I’m not at the place I hoped to be.
I (sort of) feel like a recovering sugar-holic. And I fear that by having a square of chocolate I will black out and wake up naked in sweet shop with gummy bears stuck in my hair. I am pretty sure there are meetings for that right?
So, this six-week detox doesn’t really feel like it’s come to and end. It feels like I have started a journey, a journey that, for the last six weeks, someone (Sarah Wilson) has been holding my hand through. Sarah has told me what to eat and what not to eat, and now I have to step out there and make my own decisions like a big grown up girl (and no, even at twenty five I’m still unconvinced that I’m even close to this elusive thing called adulthood). Do I want to go back to the way I was? Hell no. Is a life completely stripped of sugar in my future? Maybe.
I think for now, I’m going to keep steering clear of unnecessary sugars (I will just eat the ones that are completely and utterly enjoyed and acknowledged). No I won’t use store bought stock to make my gravy – because it adds sugar. No I won’t grab Thai takeouts on a Friday night – because I know the stuff is drenched in palm sugar. And no I won’t stop meticulously reading labels at the supermarket – because it’s ridiculous (and a little stupid, sorry folks) to not be conscious of what you are shoveling into your body. But at my besties wedding in three weeks (woop woop), will I have a slice of wedding cake? Hell yes (try ad hold me back). Those seem like good and achievable goals that don’t sound too scary long term.
This last six weeks has been interesting, and not as tough as I thought. I’m not sure what the next steps in my sugar free journey will be, but my next actual steps are to the counter at local fave Little Bird for a hearty slab of cheesecake.